Most romantic relationships begin slowly as a couple gets to know each other and evaluates how they interact together. An important component of this is chemistry; it’s one of those things that is either there or it isn’t. If it isn’t, any form of a romantic relationship is doomed from the start.
When you become the shoulder she cries on when other guys break her heart, then you know the dreaded friend-zone has turned you into one of her best “girlfriends”.
The problem starts when one of the parties involved has significantly more intense feelings than the other. In the vernacular, one person wants to take the relationship to a romantic/sexual level and the other ‘just wants to be friends’. There are gender differences in why this happens, but the solution to ‘friend zone’ status is effective for both men and women.
For a man, you know you’re in the friend zone when she starts acting ‘too comfortable’ around you. She quits making an effort to ‘be attractive’ for you or to otherwise gain your favor. You become a lower priority–someone she’ll get together with when she can’t get a ‘real date’. She’ll start droning on and on about all of her problems, including her romantic and sexual problems with other men. She’ll also start trying to elicit the same type of emotional disclosure from you.
Congratulations! You’ve become one of her ‘girlfriends’.
Prevention Is The Best Solution
Much like forest fires and communicable disease outbreaks, the best way to fix the ‘friend zone’ problem is to not get into it in the first place. Men get into this situation because they are ‘too nice’ and too deferential to the woman’s needs.
Ironically, women get ‘friend-zoned’ for the same reason–the man won’t emphatically clarify the relationship status out of concern for ‘her feelings’. This lack of a backbone is really just a rationalization whereby the man procrastinates the inevitable hoping it’ll ‘take care of itself’.
The need for brevity in this article prohibits a comprehensive outline of the masculine traits that make you less susceptible to being ‘friend-zoned’. But know this–the moment a woman comes with the ‘let’s just be friends’ mea culpa your immediate reaction is crucial not only to any chance of a future relationship with her, but to your self- respect as well.
Now, this doesn’t mean you should be a jerk. You can even interact with the female in question on a social level. That being said, it’s imperative that you don’t do anything to suggest that you’re happy with the ‘consolation prize’ of being her ‘B.F.F.’
If you’re worried about getting placed in the friend zone, here’s something that can help. Thousands of men have used it successfully to stay out of the friend zone (or get out if you’re already there) and create a sexual relationship with the girl they really want: http://haveyouseenhim.com/girlfriend-activation-system-review-breakdown-her-obsession-story-and-get-the-girl/
Make Yourself Your Top Priority
The only way to be happy long term is to live with passion, integrity, and self-respect. The way to build self-respect is to understand that it’s not selfish to prioritize yourself and your needs. By not subjugating your needs to curry favor with women, you simultaneously inoculate yourself against being ‘friend zoned’ and, if you want, to redefine a relationship with a woman who put you there.
This ethos can’t be a manipulative subterfuge. ‘Faking it’ to attract a woman is the antithesis of ‘self-respect.’ It’s time to become the type of guy you want to be and the man women want to be with.
The first step is to quit being needy. Quit ‘jumping’ just because a woman wants you to.
Specific to the one that has recently ‘friend-zoned’ you, you need to limit your availability. In fact, the best idea is to cut off contact and move on in life. Unless a woman was completely ‘using you’, she’ll notice when you’re not a constant presence.
Start investing in yourself, and you’ll not only have greater value in her eyes, but also make yourself more attractive to other women.
Recalibrating The Relationship
Once you genuinely start to built confidence and self-respect by living in symmetry with your personal values, great things happen. There’s a very good chance that the girl who put you in the ‘friend zone’ will start to see you in a different light. Don’t be surprised if she starts working to get your attention, dressing sexy around you, and otherwise treating you as a high-value commodity.
If your transformation is legitimate, you’ll respond differently and with less weakness. If she acts in a manner that pleases you, reward her with your attention and appreciation. Not to play ‘hard to get’ but because this is how a man who values himself and what he has to offer responds.
The dynamic will be crystal clear to you at this point. Men who prioritize their needs and live with passion, integrity, and self-respect don’t have problems meeting women or keeping their interest. Men who are weak willed, ‘too nice’, or otherwise unsure of their self-worth will have an endless series of ‘female problems’ until they wise up or give up.
Once you attain consonance between what you want and how you live, you’ll have plenty of women, but they’ll no longer be higher priority than yourself.